Yes, this is a photo of tango dancers. And you’re likely going to wonder how what I say next has anything whatsoever to do with this image. Stick with me here. I’ll tie it together quickly.
One of my obsessions – and I mean obsessions – is… recycling! The idea that we are dumping and burying tons of junk – things that won’t ever likely degrade – into the earth, spoiling our beautiful planet, drives me a little bit crazy. I’m not against consumerism, I make my living off of it after all. But I can’t stand the idea of buying something trendy, using it for a while and then tossing it.
So periodically I do a “detox” of my home to identify items that I haven’t used in a long time – similarly to what I do with my wardrobe. And then I find a new home for the things I let go. I never toss anything into the trash if I can share it somehow. Clothing that is ripped or too badly stained goes into my “Threads” bag in our local Ridwell box. (Ridwell had me at “we’ll take your plastic bags”. Check them out here. )
Also, in our town we have a website called Trash Nothing. You can post what you want to give away or request what you’re looking for. I just gave away six placements, several planters, a hot wax hand soaking spa, and some rubber balls. They now have happy new owners. And our local humane society has THE best resale shop which is where I take loved clothes to be re-used.
The “Romantic” in me…
But it’s what I didn’t give away that was very revealing. And those items are what inspired this post: delicate lace embroidered napkins and placemats inherited from my husband’s mother, floral embroidered tea towels for the guest bathroom, an embroidered sheer silk table mat (not exactly even a placemat) with matching napkins, linen embroidered tea napkins and their matching place mats.
Why did I save those things? I rarely use them. My tableware is simple and unadorned and my daily use table napkins are thick cotton and from India. So, what about those embroidered napkins, et al? Well, they all speak to my yin essences, even though I have next to none of them – just 5% each of Romantic, Youthful, and Angelic in my features, body, and expression. I’m not going to wear clothing that says, I’m a “bombshell”, “luscious”, or “sensual”. I’d feel ridiculous in them.
But we all crave beauty. It’s a human need. I choose to surround myself with things that are beautiful. And if they are expressive of just a small part of my essence combination, then I can simply enjoy them for their inherent beauty. That’s why I have flowers in a vase on my desk where I’m writing this. I always have flowers.
What Does a “Romantic” life look like?
Here are some clues about what someone with a lot of the Romantic style essence might surround themselves with in their homes. See if you relate.
Silky, satin-y textiles speak to the Romantic style essence. They are slinky and sensual, and they make your body feel slinky and sensual. For someone with a lot of this style they are a given.
When it comes to their kitchens, you wouldn’t likely find the kinds of earthy, simple, utilitarian items that I have. Their china and tableware would most likely be ornate and floral.
And their kitchens or coffee tables would have to have flowers – lots of flowers, full, abundant, fragrant flowers. (Peonies are my favorites, even though I have only that scant amount of Romantic.)
How to Identify a Romantic
So what would a Romantic type physically look like. Well, to start, I found this photo on eBay from the 1940’s of these three black beauties: Billie Holiday, Josephine Baker, and Dorothy Dandridge. Everything about each of these women conveys the essence of what Romantic style embodies: sensuality, emphasis on curves, confident allure, and mild restraint that reveals just enough to keep you interested.
What a Romantic Would Wear
I imagine that when casting directors are seeking a woman with a lot of Romantic essence there are a few celebrities they reference. Juliette Binoche is one. Even when she is largely covered up there is something in the soft engaging quality of her eyes that is captivating. And when she isn’t completely covered up, there is the suggestion that whatever is revealed is just the preview.
Romantics easily wear the reds in their palettes, unabashedly. In fact, I would guess that they likely have lot of red items in their wardrobes. Then there are the fabrics: soft, silky textures and body-hugging textiles, draped embroidered, shawls, lower necklines, fabrics that contain and define and draw attention but don’t overly expose their bodies.
Even when doing mundane activities a Romantic type is likely to be wearing “typically” Romantic clothing. A European Romantic woman I know often shows up at our funky little organic market in full Romantic attire – heels, long coat, a soft, fluffy colorful sweater, and of course, red lipstick. She’s a sight to behold and a delight to the eyes. She’s also been my inspiration for dressing up when I go grocery shopping!
She carries herself with confidence. She understands how to be attractive and appealing intrinsically, not so much by external measures but by knowing her worth. Her attire and her demeanor demonstrate this. She recognizes which construction details and luxe fabrics speak of elegance and beauty and she dresses to express those qualities at all the stages of her life.
What la Vida Romantic actually is
You might envision a pure Romantic type lounging on her chaise, having just come from a elegant cafe or restaurant, thoughtfully revisiting the events of the evening. Or she might be standing at the kitchen counter, placing the fresh flowers she just bought at the nearby flower stand in a large vase. Or you might see her sitting on a kitchen stool, or in a spa bathrobe, delicately ingesting small forkfuls of a pastries. And your imaginings about her might be right. Or not.
I’ve found that a lot of Romantic types, if they don’t have something grounding like Dramatic or Natural in their style essence blend, have a bit of a hard time in the world, especially now. They feel their way – emotionally – through life. They don’t like conflict. they don’t like the ugliness of hostility, anger, or war. Their emotions are not the same as the delicate idealism of an Angelic type. It’s more that they want everything in their world to just be luxurious, beautiful, and harmonious.
I don’t blame them.
How to be a Romantic…even if you aren’t
For me it’s easy. I make sure that there is something soft everywhere my eye settles in my home. That might be a cashmere throw on the sofa. It’s often a potted orchid. (This one was a gift from a year ago and has just re-bloomed.) And although I’m not likely to be going anywhere most days, I still dress thoughtfully for the day…and always add lipstick. (My next post is all about lipstick.) All those things bring a sense of harmony and beauty to my life.
So, how much Romantic do you identify with? And how do you express that in your life. I’d love to hear from you. And if you didn’t get a chance to check out my Discovering Your Inner Style Course, here’s more about it.
Talk again soon…about beauty products! Here’s to beauty in all its forms. 
Andrea’s books and new video series:
